HOMOSEXUALITY AND THE CHURCH – WHY WE GOT IT SO WRONG
Two important things to mention before we look at the reasons ‘Why we got it SO wrong’.
1. It is inevitable that the church will accept the fact that homosexuality is not an abomination but a sexual orientation. Not a perversion, illness or the result of a dysfunctional upbringing but a natural expression of sexuality that appears in every culture as well as nature, reflecting the amazing diversity in creation. It took time, but it would be difficult to find a church today that refuses to allow black people through the door or Christians who turn their noses up at interracial marriages. There are some denominations that still treat women as second class citizens but equality for women preachers and priests, even bishops, is already a reality in many places.
2. The church fundamentally consists of good people. The large majority of people in churches are not evil or hateful. There are of course examples where this is not the case; Westboro Baptist Church and their God Hates Fags campaign would be the most extreme. Thankfully, as we become more enlightened, these groups are dying out and being shunned by mainstream Christendom. The less we mention them or give them any recognition, the sooner they will diminish. Most Christians however, genuinely believe they are doing what is right for them, others and society
9 Reasons Why We Got It SO Wrong
1. The average Christian is uneducated about sexual orientation. The average Christian is uninformed about the mounting research that demonstrates sexual orientation is pre-wired and complex, involving a combination of pre-natal hormonal and genetic factors. Once pre-wired in the womb, same-sex orientation begins to play out in people’s physical appearance, natural abilities, brain functioning, socialisation and emotional attachment. To them it is innate and natural as is a person’s heterosexual orientation.
2. The church has seen science as a threat to faith. For centuries science and religion have been enemies. The Catholic Church declared that Galileo was a heretic in 1616. For centuries it refused to acknowledge that Galileo was not a heretic and that the world did in fact revolve around the sun. It wasn’t till 1989, that Pope John Paul II apologized for the Church’s handling of the case. The debate over evolution vs creationism continues to rage in some Christian circles as they feel that to accept evolution means rejection of their God who created the world and universe according to the Genesis record.
3. Christians who are anti-gay are locked in a time warp of a culture that existed in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. There was a time when the majority of western culture viewed homosexuality as an illness and perversion. Mental health professionals changed their view in the early 70’s. After that, the legislation in most countries progressively caught up with the new understanding. The only places where homosexuality is still a criminal offence are parts of Africa and the Middle East; still punishable by death in only a few.
4. The church is always behind the times and slow to change. This has and in most cases will continue to be the way it is as the Christian church, by nature, is conservative.
5. The Christian sub-culture is closed and not exposed to outside stimulus. Once again the church, by nature, has been a closed institution which breeds a particular culture. Like all cultures it maintains certain beliefs, attitudes and behaviours. To maintain identity, those beliefs, attitudes and behaviours must not be threatened. This has often created a siege mentality and separation from the very people they are called to reach. Push a culture too far and it becomes cultish. Hence the development of Christian cults.
6. The average Christian is uneducated about the historical and cultural contexts as well as the original languages of the verses often quoted. Looking deeper at the six passages used to promote the belief that homosexuality is a sin, reveals a new understanding. The Sodom and Gomorrah story was never about homosexuality, Leviticus was not written about loving same-sex relationships, Romans 1 is talking about pagan idolatrous rituals and the word homosexual was not used in I Corinthians 6:9 till 1946. It’s easy to see how these verses, read in English without the education, could be misinterpreted. I did it for years.
7. Christians have often judged the entire GLBT community by the actions of a portion. The only encounter many churches have with the GLBT community is through activists seeking equality at all levels of society. Rightly or wrongly, this has created the impression that we are all angry, militant and aggressive.
There is also a strong sexual ethos that exists in some subcultures of the GLBT community. Not knowing any gay or lesbian people personally, many in the church have assumed that all gay and lesbian people have no sense of morality. This simply is not true. Amongst heterosexuals there is also a broad range of morality. Homosexuality does not automatically mean promiscuity or immorality. No matter what our view is of others morality, we should always remind ourselves that Jesus told us not to judge.
8. Church leaders don’t know any happy gay or lesbian people. The only same-sex- oriented people most pastors/leaders actually have any contact with are those who are tormented by their homosexuality, have a sexual addiction or have been sexually abused. This gives a very warped impression of those of us who are same-sex-attracted. This is not unlike the situation that occurred with psychiatrists and psychologists up until the work of Evelyn Hooker in 1957.
9. Gay Christians are coming out nearly 4 decades after the birth of the gay rights movement. What we are experiencing in the church now is not unlike what happened after 1969 Stonewall riots. Four decades ago a group of gay and lesbian people said enough is enough and we will no longer allow you to treat us like this. A similar thing happened 14 years earlier when on December 1st 1955 Rosa Parks (a black women), tired and worn out from hours working in the factory was riding home on the bus. When ordered to vacate her seat for a white person………she said NO and was arrested. This was the birth of the civil rights movement. In 1968, one year before Stonewall, the Rev Troy Perry held the first service for gay Christians with 12 people. Although it was a small beginning and progress slow there are now tens of thousands who call themselves gay Christians and 1,000’s of welcoming churches. If you are unaware of the growth just Google ‘gay christian’.
The more of us who come out or dare belong to churches who have not yet come to a more enlightened position on sexual orientation the quicker preconceived ideas and misconceptions will dissolve. Silence and invisibility contribute to ignorance. If you are a gay man or lesbian of faith, take your place graciously, honestly, openly, unashamedly, courageously in your church community and in the kingdom of God.
you think you have questions.
what are yours helpigotquestions
for one, in response to your number 1) question…
“Do you know of anyone who was completely gay (not a bisexual) who has become completely heterosexual?”
… i have to ask you, do you really know of anyone who is “completely gay” or completely “heterosexual”? think about that.
the simple answer is yes. If we take Kinsey’s research in this area he saw sexuality at a continuum. Straight one end, gay the other with varying degrees of bi-sexuality in between. Since that time though much more research has been done on sexual orientation. We now view sexual orientation in much broader terms than just sexual behaviour.
Whilst many people can have sex with someone of the same sex in their life time they are not actually gay in their orientation. Whatever sex you are oriented towards you will fall in love, want to partner, give and receive affection and experience intimacy with that sex. So there are some who think they are bisexual because they have a same sex experience…..but this is not the case.
Research has shown us that womens sexuality is more fluid than mens. You dont find men falling in love with their best buddies and wanting to spend the rest of their lives with them, this is not uncommon amongst women however.
From my own experience, I know that I am actually 100% gay. Females just dont do it for me. I did have a level of heterosexual functionality during my 16 years of marriage but it didn’t mean I was bisexual.
ABV7,
What exactly do you mean when you say “orientation”?
lte me explain that question… i think of orientation sort of in these terms: i go to a new school, or get a new job… they give me an orientation: show me the ropes, tell me where exactly i need to go what i need to do, get me aquainted with the staff, peers, equipment.
the word is based on the word “orient” as defined:
———————————
4. to adjust with relation to, or bring into due relation to surroundings, circumstances, facts, etc.
5. to familiarize (a person) with new surroundings or circumstances, or the like: lectures designed to orient the new students.
6. to place in any definite position with reference to the points of the compass or other locations: to orient a building north and south.
7. to direct or position toward a particular object: Orient it toward that house.
8. to determine the position of in relation to the points of the compass; get the bearings of.
9. to place so as to face the east, esp. to build (a church) with the chief altar to the east and the chief entrance to the west.
10. Surveying. to set (the horizontal circle of a surveying instrument) so that readings give correct azimuths.
11. Mathematics. to assign to (a surface) a constant, outward direction at each point.
–verb (used without object) 12. to turn toward the east or in any specified direction.
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the word itself does not seem to represent something that is fixed but rather primarily something that is placed or positioned in relation to its surroundings and environment.
Orientation is the more commonly used term these days. Some people have used the term sexual preference but this is an incorrect term as it often caries the implication of a choice. eg I prefer carrots to broccoli. I can eat both but I choose carrots….as I prefer them.
Sexual Orientation is the scientifically accurate term for an individual’s enduring physical, romantic, emotional and/or spiritual attraction to members of the same and/or opposite sex, including lesbian, gay, bisexual and heterosexual orientations.
its not something which is determined by my environment…..its something that is innate…instinctive. It is set up in the womb and activated later in life. I have quite a substantial article on that if you are interested.
If there is an attractive women in front of me and a very handsome man there is only one that I would be attracted to. The man obviously as my sexual orientation is toward the same sex not the opposite.
If I was heterosexual in my orientation of course I might just note in my mind that the man was good looking but I wouldn’t be physically attracted to him, desire having sex with him, fall in love with him or partner with him.
If you’d like to read further on this you can do so here
http://www.psychology.org.au/publications/tip_sheets/orientation/
ABV7,
This is interesting from the link you provided:
“many scientists share the view that for most people sexual orientation is shaped during the first few years of life through complex interactions of genetic, biological, psychological and social factors.”
As for biological traits are they just basically talking genetics? What really is the difference between biology and genetics?
When it comes to genetics it would seem that homosexuality might “run in families.” To your knowledge, is there any evidence of that trend? Also, I would imagine there would be some sort of evolutionary benefit. Is there any evidence pointing toward that end?
With the other two issues, psychological and social, it would seem there would be room for someone to have leaned either way, gay or straight, depending on outside influences in early childhood. So, based on these two factors, to say one’s orientation cannot change seems like saying you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
It seems that only genetics (or biology) would be a factor one could not change, the other issues do not seem to present a strong case for the claim that homosexuality is not something one has ultimate control over.
Do you think there may also be spiritual issues that could cause homosexuality?
If memory serves me, in your “About” page you mentioned that the Bible only refers to homosexual acts 6 times. Could you explain the significance of why you stated that?
Sorry, as my name states I do have questions. My apologies if I am asking too much at one time.
hi helpigotquestions
I guess it would be easier one question at a time….but here goes. I don’t know how to use html so i’ll have to do this the following way.
helpigotquestions said:
As for biological traits are they just basically talking genetics? What really is the difference between biology and genetics?
Anthony says:
By biological it is referring to other prenatal factors such as hormones. There is strong evidence these play a major role in predetermined sexual orientation. Many, but not all gay men have femine traits, brain responces etc. Many lesbians but not all have masculine features. These things are not taught or influenced by environment.
helpigotquestions said
When it comes to genetics it would seem that homosexuality might “run in families.” To your knowledge, is there any evidence of that trend?
Anthony says:
Yes…there has been substantial research that it tends to run in families down the mothers side. in other words there is an increase number of gay male relatives. More studies have been done with gay men than with lesbians. There are similarities.
helpigotquestions asked about environmental issues such as family upbringing:
anthony says:
If sexual orientation was determined by family and social influences then no one would actually be gay. I know for myself that growing up I was surrounded by heterosexual models, heterosexual stories, heterosexual images, heterosexual language, etc etc everything in my world and most peoples for that matter is heterosexual. There wasn’t even the word gay……except to mean you were happy. All the pressure to conform was to conform to heterosexuality…….and anything different was shunned. To be effeminate meant i was bullied so I tried to be macho. I was totally conditioned to be heterosexual and thought I’d fall in love with a girl, get married and have a family like everyone else. But I didn’t. I tried….god knows I tried. But after 22 years including 16 years married to woman I had to admit to myself the truth…….my sexual orienation is was and always will be towards the same sex not the opposite.
hi helpigotquestions
I would like to answer your following question if I may.
You asked “With the other two issues, psychological and social, it would seem there would be room for someone to have leaned either way, gay or straight, depending on outside influences in early childhood. So, based on these two factors, to say one’s orientation cannot change seems like saying you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
I think the best way to explain this is to consider right handed, left handed and ambidextrous people. Right handers are considered ‘normal’. (full stop, no futher argument). Left handers (in my school days) were punished if they used their left hand and were forced to learn how to be right handed. But as soon as the ‘authority’ wasn’t looking they went back to their natural way of writing with their left hand. Ambidextrous people, however, have the ability to use both hands with equal skill. They were well abe to be right handed under the gaze of ‘authority’, but equally able to be left handed if the occasion required it.
As an example, my sister grew up presumably heterosexual, but after two failed marriages she met a woman who satisfied many of the unmet needs in her life. This relationship didn’t last, which is no different to a lot of heterosexual and homosexual relationships, but she is now in a long term and very happy relationship with a same gender partner. I suspect she is a classic example of ambidextrous compared to right or left handed. Nothing to do with teaching an old dog new tricks.
My younger brother (on the other hand – forgive the pun) is gay (so it seems it does run in families), and even though he did marry and have two children, he knew he was always gay. He married to try to change his orientation and do what society required. The end result being yet another broken marriage, and divided family. It is interesting that he is also the ONLY person in our family who was left handed.
You asked if spiritual issues could be the cause of homosexuality. Based on the above my conclusion is that spiritual issues are no more the cause of homosexuality as they are of left handedness. However sexual addiction is another subject altogether.
And finally your question as to why the necessity of a statement about the 6 Biblical references to homosexuality. This is really simple, the first argument you will get from a Christian discussion on homosexuality is that the Bible says it is wrong and an abomination to God. Therefore a further explanation of the Biblical references is crucial in this debate. The same as any Christian discussion on women in ministry, or the continuation of slavery would need further explanation of the Biblical references to give greater clarity to the debate. No one denies the existance of these scriptures, they just attempt to give a clearer understanding to their meaning.
As a heterosexual, a woman and a right hander, I would encourage you helpigotquestions to keep asking questions as you have done and as I have been doing for several years until all the pieces fall into place for you as well. It is only by asking questions that we get more and more information on which to base our final opinion. So good on you for having questions and asking them.
I must send you a copy of an article I have on handedness Joyce since you brought up….there are some interesting correlations between that and sexuality…..mmmmm.
thanks for very thoughtful response.
hi Joyce, Abv7,
in regards to the limited Biblical references to homosexuality, you did make a comparison to such things as women in ministry but did not provide any real explanation regarding the limited references to homosexuality and what that means. i would imagine there are also limited references to other forms of sexual conduct as well as other behaviours, so i still have to wonder why there is significance in citing “limited reference” to support homosexuality from a Biblical standpoint.
i am very interested in gaining an accurate Biblical view on homosexuality so i guess that is the basis to my questions. assuming there was some genetic or biological causes of homosexuality, i also have to wonder if that alone would dismiss any notion that God still may not want me to practice this.
i base this on the fact that according to scripture our “sin nature” is passed down biologically from generation to generation. i believe that is the significance of Christ having been born of a virgin and not having the human bloodline of Adam (which may be a topic for another post). but…in line with our sin nature being passed down, i would imagine there is also some form of genetic or biological propensity toward sinful behaviour in general, whether it is in the form of a violent or selfish personality, sexual addictions, drug and alcohol addiction, etc.
Joyce you stated homosexuality does seem to run in families, studies do indicate otherwise, but not all studies come to the same conclusions. and there are also other behavioral things that run in families, incest, alcoholism, violence, etc.
so do you think that if homosexuality runs in families that is an indicator of it being a “genetic or biological issue?”
and if it is in fact genetic or biological, is it possible that God still does not want it practiced, as with certain other human behaviors resulting from our sin nature?
helpigotquestions,
First of all, no one is born with sin, one is born into it, not born from/of/with it. Alcoholism is a learned behaviour, Murder is a learned behaviour.
You should read what this Jewish rabbi has to say about gays and lesbians:
http://home.earthlink.net/~ecorebbe/id18.html
It’s very interesting, and very enlightening. You see, Judaism is actually the foundation of Christianity, so if Judaism finds a fallacy in their interpretation, then the whole of Judaism and Christendom changes. Change usually happens with the more liberal(the Reformers, etc.) denominations and sects, then it crawls slowly towards the conservative(the Status Quo Defenders, Traditionalists, etc.) denominations and sects. I think that this is a lesson to be learnt for ALL Jews and Christians — Do in-depth research(biblical, scientific, cultural, historical, etc.). Because, you may not know, that you could possibly be the one spreading heresy. Faith doesn’t give you all the answers, thats why it’s also good to do some theological research, scientific research, etc. I see faith, science, history, the bible, etc. go hand in hand with each other. The church is still healing from it’s persecution back in the days of the Roman Empire I believe.
People are not born WITH sin, they’re born into it. Sin is LEARNED. Instincts are natural, and sometimes this is one of those “God works in mysterious ways” kinda things. I regret misunderstanding my GLBT Christian and non-Christian brothers and sisters. They were never hostile towards me, they were always kind, compassionate, and patient. When I did research on the GLBT community, the Christian Church, Judaism, homosexuality, etc. you’ll never believe how interesting it gets. Unfortunately, the conservative argument only has substantial information in ENGLISH texts. The liberal argument has substantial information in Hebrew, Aramaic, Greek, etc. texts as well as English texts. They also have scientific, theological, and historical backing too. This is one of those things that “where there is love, peace, joy, kindness, longsuffering, etc. against these things there is NO law”. I see it in many GLBT relationships. They go through the same daily things, they missed the train into town, they have to pay the bills, they have barbeques, and some even go to CHURCH!(Yes I know!) God works in mysterious, and hopefully, this will be a lesson for ALL to take in: do research before you make any statement for or against anything.
I’d also like to point out though, that if you read the WHOLE book of Romans, you will get the FULL reasoning of what Paul is saying. The bible doesn’t work in bits and pieces. It has connections. As for “Sodomite”, Sodomites are mistranslated for homosexuals, when all in all, they are “Qadesh”, which means male temple prostitute. Sodomite is the masculine word for Harlot(Female temple prostitute). In Corinthians, where the bible says effeminate and homosexual, malakos means “soft” it can mean the person has low morals, doesn’t stand up for whats right in society, easily persuaded by peer pressure, etc. Arsenokoitai means male bed. This is probably considered someone who’s a secular male prostitute, who isn’t necessarily a homosexual prostitute — they could be bisexual, or even heterosexual.
Lev. 18:22 states that a man shall not lieth with another man as he would with a woman, its abominable(or to’evah)
There are 3 words in hebrew that represent ABOMINATION:
To’evah: Ritually Unclean, Idolatrous, etc.
Tevel: Perverse, against God’s divine order of creation, etc.
Zimah: Inherently evil, a sin, abhorrent, etc.
In the hebrew torah, the word abomination is used as to’evah, something ritually impure. In the time the Israelites went into Canaan, the Canaanites were practicing pagan rituals, in some cases, men and women had sex with each other, sometimes WHOLE FAMILIES had sex with each other, in order to “worship with the so-called Gods”. Now, Reformed Jews have seen this prohibition as no longer standing, as the Jews are no longer around idolaters such as these canaanites. They were for their ancestors. Now, Conservative Jews are not pushy on the prohibition(the allow couples and non-anal sex), but they still use it. Orthodox Jews still fully prohibit it though. This is the law that is no longer really seen feasible by Jews(mixed fibers, unclean meats, etc.). The only reason why they could not eat those meats back then was because they were given as sacrifice to pagan gods. The only reason why no one could engage in the sexual acts prohibited as to’evah(not zimah or tevel) was because the Canaanites engaged in them when they had sex with the gods(wierd I know). Anyways, hope this is insightful